Okay, I had a child when I was 18 and she was 16. this was 11 years ago. I never married her and the child has my last name. There is no dispute that she is mine. There is no blood test and no court order for support. I have been paying this whole time until recently. I have never gottne visitation and rarely phone calls. I got tired of it and stopped paying to use that to let her know I am serious. Well she called my commader and tattles on me. The commander says that she will find out if I have to pay or not, but she thinks that I will even though I never get to see her. Look I have tried everything I know of, I just want to see her and for her to know me. This is the only thing that has gotten her attention and my mom of all people gave her the company phone number. Can the Army say yes you will pay even though there is no paternity test? And no court order to pay child cupport? Please help quickly! Thanks in advance

Meem please pm your ako. I studied to be a paralegal. What state are you in? I can tell you now No you do not have to pay LEGALLY. There is not court order. Now would the right thing to do is pay YES. Depending on what state you are in if she files child support now you could owe alot of back pay. I hope you have proof of what you given her. I have had many many soldiers go through this and I tell them each the same thing. Once you know the child is yours MARCH YOUR BUTT DOWN TO THE LOCAL CHILD SUPPORT ENFORCEMENT AGENCY AND START THE CHILD SUPPORT PROCEEDINGS YOURSELF. Believe me it is the best thing to have a court order. If she is 11 and you don't have checks or money orders you could owe thousands of dollars in back child support. If you PM me your ako and your state I will send you all the legal tools you need.

Regardless of what your CO says it looks like you should probably take your child's mother to court to force visitation rights.

There is an organization, http://www.fathersrightsinc.com/, that helps dad's get their rights in these kinds of matters. They may be able to help you with attorney fees. You can show proof of your support over the years. You can also get a statement about your character from your chain of command showing that you would be a good influence in your child's life.

I understand that cutting off child support finally got her attention. But in my opinion, that's the wrong course of action to take. It's not your daughter's fault that her mother is taking these kinds of actions against you. It is your responsibility to continue to support her.

Yes, a daugher needs a daddy in her life (I know, I have 3). Fight for her but continue to balance that with respect for the mother. A hard line to follow but how your daughter sees you treat her mother will shape how your daughter views a potential boyfriend/husband later.

Sorry, I forgot to ask when you say she has your last name did you sign the birth certificate? If so and she is 11 you don't need a Paternity test unless it's something you must have for yourself. Even if she is not yours and you signed the birth certificate 11 years ago guess what you are legally supposed to pay child support. YES, even if she is not yours. Lots of laws there. Also, if you wanted to see her why didn't you go file visitation papers. You do not need a lawyer for any of this. Sorry I forgot to add this above. I will help you out though. I have become an expert many have this issue.

Note to all: If you have a child and you have a doubt the child is not yours. DO NOT SIGN THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. Even if you are 99% percent sure don't sign it.

I am stationed in Virginia. The child was born in Texas and they live in Arkansas. I have tried to get sole custody and JAG wouldn't help. I wound up taking leave and paying around 3 grand for a lawyer who eventually dropped the case. He did tell me that even though my name was on the birth certificate and she has my last name I have NO legal rights to her at all without a blood test. Alot of this is due to my ignorance and taking my mothers advise, who I thought was giving me good advise. I have payed ALOT of money because I knew it was the right thing and it was all through military allotment. I know that taking the money ultimatly hurts her but I have rights too. She has used my daughter to get money, that is honestly her sole objective. Like I said I have been trying but there has to be something in return.

I got your ako. I will look up the laws and get it to you this weekend. Sole custody probaly isn't an option. Most judges like to give joint custody with primary custodial rights going to one person. If you do file for custody there would be an adjustment period for the child to get to know you. Your lawyer is an idiot that is a lie. You signed the birth certificate claiming paternity. You did all this with military allotment. SMART SMART SMART. I will look for the Arkansas laws. I will send them to you and send you the link to file the paperwork. Like I said you do not need a lawyer, but be prepared to travel to Arkansas for court dates. If your willing to do the work you will get some visitation and you can go down to your local child support office in Texas and file for child support yourself. I am telling you it is the best thing to do. You do have legal rights.

Good info Mommyof3. Meeem, I want to thank you for your desire to be part of your daughter's life and having supported her financially for 11 years. There are enough deadbeat dads out there.

Don't give up the fight. Your daughter will love you even more for it in the long run.

Thanks mom. I really think that this is going to be the one thing that I will put my foot down about. I called JAG and I.G. Jag said I am not responsible to pay and the command CANNOT make me pay. I called I.G. and they said yes they can. That by signing an affadavit when she was born, the army requires me to pay. Regardless of the situation. That the army doesnt get involoved in visitation at all. I find it hard to believe that the army would let a SM get royally screwed. Like what may happen to me in the very near future. I have always stood up very strongly for what I view as right and wrong, I just hope I dont have to stand up against the Army. We all know I will lose.

Very true they are not allowed to get involved in visitation or custody. Now about child support tommorow morning I would go and send something Western Union, Certified Check, Money Order whatever is best. DO it for you daughter. It's the right thing to do. I will email you get some more info from you and see what base your at. Do you have any other kids? Are you married now? These are all important factors before you go down to child support. Even though it's been 11 years you still should go and file so things are fair. I hope she is receiving Tricare benfits from you. Remember this LOVE YOUR CHILD MORE THAN YOU HATE YOUR EX. We will be in contact.