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I have been reading all of your posts. My husband joined the army in Sept of 09. We have filled out multiple forms pertaining to the fact that we have three diabetics in our family. One of which is on an insulin pump. No one in boot camp or AIT told my husband about the EFMP forms. Once I found out we were supposed to go to Korea I was told I need to apply for all of the programs and try to obtain command sponsorship. The person in his AIT training was less than helpful and just delayed all of the paperwork causing me to send all of it to him over night and then never did anything with them. We were the ones that applied put in the csp packet with all of the efmp forms. We were denied immediately for sponsorship due to the lack of pediatric endocrinologists in any of the bases in korea. My husband was sent over and tried again for command sponsorship and was denied again. His sgt told him to try for a compassionate reassignment, but most likely will get denied. Is this true? Is there anything that I can do to help? How long will it take to hear anything.
 
Posts: 1 | Registered: 31 March 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Hi Mike's: I have the scoop on this but have to go out and about today and won't be back til later. Maybe some of our board members will jump in and I will catch you this evening too. Best wishes til later.
 
Posts: 438 | Registered: 22 December 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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P.S. Mike's - Consider calling Military One Source during the day - they have EFMP subject matter experts they can refer you to while they have you on the phone and yiou can talk to one. The Command stuff - the other posters will probably address and I have experience with that too - and I will get back with you on all your entitlements and where to go locally for help. MOS is 1-800-342-9647, 24/7.
 
Posts: 438 | Registered: 22 December 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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If you are denied command sponsorship then he will just serve his year in Korea and come back to the states. The compassionate reassignment will most likely be denied. The good news is now you are enrolled in the EFMP and they will take that into account for any future assignments.
 
Posts: 75 | Location: Fort Carson, Colorado | Registered: 23 October 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post

Picture of ArmyWife~N~Soldier
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I highly doubt they will give him a compassionate reasssignment. He is currently in Korea w/out you, so there is no reason for them to send him to the States to be w/you unless one of your child or yourself (or his parents) are seriously ill. If you guys were all stationed at Ft. Bragg, and they didn't have a specialist that one of your children needed, you would put in a compassionate to a place where he could get care. Like tankers said, he will more than likely have to serve out his year and now that you are in the EFMP system, he won't be sent anywhere else that you all can't accompany him.
 
Posts: 758 | Location: Fort Carson, CO | Registered: 12 March 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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I wanted to ask you guys real quick about our situation. It is kind of in the middle of the previous ones listed before me. I am currently helping my husband put together a packet as far as all of the "proof" paperwork to take with him to S1. We too have an "ex" custody issue and we have been to court numerous times to fight him. My hubby is stationed in Alaska and we are in Texas so the courts said No to the move because of the distance. Here is where it gets hairy.

Because of all of the stress, I am now on anti-depressants (sigh) and have had several miscarriages due to the stress. My ex-husband also assaulted me in the daycare parking lot and it is documented with police reports. This is all so stressful not to mention the thousands of dollars we have spent legally to fight him. Since he originally agreed to the move (signed mediation docs), we rented a house off base, I quit my job, sold the house and moved the furniture. 3 days before we were to leave, he got an emergency stop from the judge cause he changed his mind. So now we are stuck here with little furniture, paying for 2 households. Anybody have any views on if the hubby can get reassigned to Texas? Has one more year in Alaska and there are "rumors" of another deployment right before he leaves.
 
Posts: 5 | Location: East Texas | Registered: 16 March 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Hi April: What a roller coaster, huh? I can speak for my department - ACS and EFMP - you are now considered an Exceptional Family Member apparently with a diagnosis of depression. I would contact the nearest Post there in Texas and contact the EFMP Program Manager in ACS and get registered. Being an EFMP, it may allow you more leverage with the CofC for a compassionate reassignment. I am not an expert in that department - you need to contact EFMP. Also, I sure hope you are in contact with Military One Source who can set you up immediately with free counseling right there in your own town. If you can't get out because you can't afford child care, they may allow you to take the counseling over the phone. Consider calling them at 1-800-342-9647. It sounds like you have a Family Advocacy Program issue with your ex-spouse which could escalate; we don't know. These would be issues to discuss with the EFMP Specialist and possible referrals to FAP and JAG. Best wishes for a resolution that works for the Army and your family.
 
Posts: 438 | Registered: 22 December 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Thank you GS Girl! I totally forgot about the EFMP! I will def start there. I will also call about the counseling as well. Will keep you updated as to what happens
 
Posts: 5 | Location: East Texas | Registered: 16 March 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Not to be a downer but being on anti depressants is not cause for him to receive a compassionate reassignment neither are your custody issues with your ex. Compassionate reassignments are generally used for seriously ill dependents(or parents). The only thing you might try is getting his orders amended from accompanied to unaccompanied which may or may not shorten the length of his tour in Alaska. Keep in mind that even then there is no guarantee that he will be stationed in Texas after because as I said the Army does not take into consideration you custody issues. Not trying to be mean just realistic.
 
Posts: 75 | Location: Fort Carson, Colorado | Registered: 23 October 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Hi Tanker and April: Your points are well taken but the big picture issue here, to me, is, stigma associated with emotional illness. It took a lot of guts for April to come out and let us know she is under the care of a physician and on medications.

Regarding the EFMP issue, the Army and DOD just standardized the EFMP Program yesterday across the services, which is a good thing, because no matter what your disability is or your child's, you are entitled to the same protections under the regulation whether you are on a small Army Depot out in the sticks, or if you are on a big Fort like Fort Bragg, for example. You can't be squeezed out of the benefits just because the subject matter experts aren't as savvy on your Post as they are on a bigger Post. The EFMP Program is a mandatory enrollment program. It is important for the soldier and the EFMP family member to be up to date on the offerings of the EFMP Program, and the soldier's responsibilities. A great place to get started and find out more is on: http://www.myarmyonesource.com. When you get to the site, go over to the left hand column and click on "Family Programs and Services". Then, when that opens up, click on "Family Programs", and then click once again for "EFMP Program".

The thing about "emotional illness", it can run the gamut. It could be depression, or it could be major depression, or it could be generalized anxiety disorder, or it could be PTSD, and so on. We just don't know - maybe the domestic violence issue out in the parking lot triggered something. We can't figure it out or judge. All we can do is encourage, and support and be there for each other. And, Tanker, I hear you. I know what you are saying, and like you said, it's a "downer". And, what I am saying is - it has to change - emotional illness/disability issues have to be taken as seriously as physical disability issues.

Suicide ideations affect not only the soldier and his/her family, but the ACS staff member intervening, co-workers military and civilian, the Command, etc, all of us because we are all part of the big Army family. I cannot tell you how many I have been involved in - we have to change. We - each of us - has to have a positive effect on the system - on the institution - that is our brother or our sister suffering - we have to speak up for them and each other.

It has been and continues to be an honor to be of service to all of you.
 
Posts: 438 | Registered: 22 December 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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There was no stigma in what I posted. The poster's big issue is not being able to leave state with her children. An issue that the Army just does not deal with when putting her husband on assignment. Her other issue is being on anti depressants(which I have been on several times as well as anti anxiety meds)To me that again is not a big issue nor stigma inducing since half the world is on some form of anti depressant. While I am sorry that she is having these problems I am letting her know that neither of those problems are cause for her husband to be compassionately reassigned. I urge her to avail herself to all available services and programs but meanwhile she must remain realistic or she will just set herself up to be even more disappointment when her husbands request for reassignment is more than likely denied.
 
Posts: 75 | Location: Fort Carson, Colorado | Registered: 23 October 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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I'm hoping someone can help me out. On April 15, 2010 my 2 y/o son was diagnosed with luekemia. I have a report date to Korea of 10 May 10 with command sponsorship. Since my son is now EFMP, he can't come. My CoC is working on deferring the orders by 60 days so that they can have enough time to cancel the orders. They also told me that they will work on a compassionate reassignment to either keep be here in Ft. Carson so he can continue his chemotherapy or try to move me somewhere a little closer to home (FL) since we will be needing all the family support we can get for the next 3 years of his therapy. I have documentation of his condition from his provider and also from the EFMP staff. 1SG has showed me the 4187 for the deferment but he told me to hold on filling the 3739. I've tried contacting branch to see what's available closer to FL but haven't had any luck getting through. My question is what do I do next? With the report date so close, I feel like I should be doing more. My CoC says they have it under control but I've been failed before and can't be failed on this one. Thanks for the help.
 
Posts: 3 | Registered: 21 April 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Hi Tanker: I did my best to make myself clear - I stated that there was a "bigger picture" we as the umbrella Army family need to be considering - no stigma for anyone coming forward when they state they have a mental health issue. You were discussing reality - I was discussing idealistically the Army's efforts to wipe out stigma. I am saying that this cannot come from just on high - we all need to take the time to be understanding and change the system the best way we can - with an attitude change. All of us. April did not state why she was taking anti-depressants - of course, there is more to her story. I will not minimize her story. And, I will say it again, realistically, Tanker, you may be correct. But on the other hand, we don't have all of April's facts here, nor should we. Thanks for your feedback, Tanker. I enjoy your interesting and informative posts.
 
Posts: 438 | Registered: 22 December 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Hi 68A: I am very sorry to hear about the diagnosis for your little child. There are many administrative gurus here on the board who can respond to you on your specific questions. But I have one for you - did the hospital social workers file for SSI for your child while he is/was in the hospital there? Your child's SSI application will be processed immediately and benefits will be payable ASAP, depending upon your family's income and resources, and the deeming issues.
 
Posts: 438 | Registered: 22 December 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Thank you gals for your responses. To GS Girl, I can't thank you enough for your concern and care. Do you know you are the first person we have talked to that even cares? So many people in the military could care less. To Tanker, I understand what you are saying. I have been through a lot in my life. I am not a young and inexperienced 18 year old Army wife. I am 34 years old and have been supporting me and my children through a lot. I never in a million years thought I would be on meds. This last 7 years of my life have been hell and yes, maybe I don't have to justify myself, but I feel like I should. There is more to the story. I am not trying to be mean or by no means have sympathy from all of you. The reason for the meds is this. 10 years of abuse and yes, that was my decision but until you go through that, I can not explain nor justify it. Needless to say, I finally got away. I started over for me and my kids and met the most wonderful man in the world. He took me and my three kids in when he didn't have to. We went through a deployment, just like most of you have. While he was away, I went through some of the most mind blowing legal issues with my ex. Do you know what it feels like to have to sit in a room across from your ex abuser and try and make "deals"? Or go to court and get things worked out only to have the carpet pulled out from under you every single time cause you can't afford a good lawyer? And then have your hubby come back from Iraq and you are not able to afford to see him cause you spent $7000 on lawyers fees? After he got back and came to stay with us for a bit, we also went through 2 miscarriages....so yeah...that is why I am on meds. Like I said, everybody has their issues and I am by no means worse off than most. My children are healthy and so am I. It could always be worse. And you know what? If this reassignment doesnt go through, then oh well. It will hurt certainly, but my hubby and I are strong enough to move on. But we were just trying to exhaust everything we can to try and get with each other. So to say that "it is just depression and it is more a custody issue" is plain wrong. It is more than that....it is a loving and respectful husband and wife that want a chance to be together, for our well being and for our children's sake. Two more years on top of our first two years together is so sad, we have never lived together. I will do everything in my power and when every avenue has been taken and there is no way, then we will deal with that too.

Sorry for the book writing, but I felt I needed to explain. What is so wrong with people these days that there is no hope or concern in them? Thank you all for listening to my ramblings!
 
Posts: 5 | Location: East Texas | Registered: 16 March 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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