I've had a joint account my entire marriage (1997).
I've actually found it easier to have different accounts while deployed. We both have access to both accounts. But I'm forgetful and don't tell her if I spent money, and she spends almost everything before the next check.
So I have an allotment of $350/month going to our "old" account (with Visa debit cards). The rest goes to USAA, which is good about tranferring money between the two accounts (if we need to.)
Money can become a big issue in marriage- but it's not about the money. It's about communicating
-her "honey I need money for diapers"
-him "why do you always spend so much?"
-her "we spend xx on yy, bb on cc, etc.."
-him *understands and is involved in finances*
It's also about SELFISHNESS. If one spouse is buying stuff they want but the other doesn't get some of the stuff they want, jealousy and resentment creep in.
So it's best to make a budget, communicate, and live within that budget. Remember, the key to financial happiness is Spend Less than you Make
In another company of our deployed BDE a male formerly married SGT was just demoted to SPC and the formerly married PFC is now a PVT. They're not married to each other and shouldn't have been messing with each other.
There are plenty of people who do things they shouldn't- my spouse and I have been happily married since 1997 and 2 deployments with no cheating. (that I know of, knock on wood....)
People who want to cheat will cheat, those who don't want to won't. It's all about staying away from the temptation, I don't hang out with women alone, she doesn't have any guy friends she gets real close to alone.
Be Proud of what you do- and do it Well! ~me