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Cheating While Deployed?
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I hate to sound like a jerk when that is not my intentions but hey, it is what it is.

Just like you said, you guys are a team and that's it because a marriage is so much more. You guys are two people who have conceived a child together and living under the same roof calling yourself married. Your situation seems besides missing the sex, if you divorce your relationship wouldn't change because you already live separate lives

Your guys marriage is temporary based off your military career, you guys ETS, you wouldn't last 1 month.

How long do you plan on being married? Do you guys even have a savings, because when you plan on being together forever, that's how you live every aspect of your life. You have seen people in the Army get cleaned out because people in the army marry for all the wrong reasons, *hint*
 
Posts: 494 | Registered: 24 December 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Agreed on wrong reasons for some marriages. One of my wife and I's savings accounts are joint, but most of our paychecks go into our own savings/retirement/checking.

With that said we split many bills and NEVER argue about money, I don't think its bad for even a great relationship, let alone a rocky one.
 
Posts: 2619 | Registered: 08 March 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post

Picture of AutobahnSHO
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I've had a joint account my entire marriage (1997).

I've actually found it easier to have different accounts while deployed. We both have access to both accounts. But I'm forgetful and don't tell her if I spent money, and she spends almost everything before the next check.

So I have an allotment of $350/month going to our "old" account (with Visa debit cards). The rest goes to USAA, which is good about tranferring money between the two accounts (if we need to.)

Money can become a big issue in marriage- but it's not about the money. It's about communicating
-her "honey I need money for diapers"
-him "why do you always spend so much?"
-her "we spend xx on yy, bb on cc, etc.."
-him *understands and is involved in finances*

It's also about SELFISHNESS. If one spouse is buying stuff they want but the other doesn't get some of the stuff they want, jealousy and resentment creep in.

So it's best to make a budget, communicate, and live within that budget. Remember, the key to financial happiness is Spend Less than you Make.

-----------------------------------------------------

In another company of our deployed BDE a male formerly married SGT was just demoted to SPC and the formerly married PFC is now a PVT. They're not married to each other and shouldn't have been messing with each other.

There are plenty of people who do things they shouldn't- my spouse and I have been happily married since 1997 and 2 deployments with no cheating. (that I know of, knock on wood....)

People who want to cheat will cheat, those who don't want to won't. It's all about staying away from the temptation, I don't hang out with women alone, she doesn't have any guy friends she gets real close to alone.


Be Proud of what you do- and do it Well! ~me
 
Posts: 5284 | Location: Ft Gordon (Again!!!) :-| | Registered: 22 October 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Well first I want to let you know the Army does not see legal separation. You are either divorsed, single, or married so I would not cheat because, you can be convicted of Adultry. It is a tuff situation though my last deployment my wife was a soldier also but she was in the rear and i had to try to live with the stress of wondering what she was doing but come to find out she was cheating and actualy got pregnant from him while i was gone so it does suck. The best way i felt to deal with it is keep your mind on the mission i spent all my time working hard and working on promotion. Keep your peers close and youll be just fine. Mind over matter
 
Posts: 2 | Location: Ft.Campbell Ky, | Registered: 17 October 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post

Picture of ArmyWife~N~Soldier
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Saw my own thread and thought I'd add to it for entertainment factor. F*ck it, it's Friday, right? My husband definitely did cheat downrange, with his "Soldier". Guess I saw it coming huh? Good luck to anyone else in this situation!
 
Posts: 758 | Location: Fort Carson, CO | Registered: 12 March 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Sloppy
 
Posts: 468 | Registered: 08 November 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post

Picture of ArmyWife~N~Soldier
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Sloppy because he got caught lol
 
Posts: 758 | Location: Fort Carson, CO | Registered: 12 March 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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Riiiight....

Keep your personal issues personal.
 
Posts: 468 | Registered: 08 November 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post

Picture of ArmyWife~N~Soldier
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You opened the thread, correct?
 
Posts: 758 | Location: Fort Carson, CO | Registered: 12 March 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post

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You are not too bright are you?

Yes, of course I opened the thread, at the time not realizing that you leaked your most personal buisness onto a public forum.

I simply responded it's sloppy of you to have done so. You're probably the same kind of Leader that discloses this kind of information to your subordinates. You'd probably even drag your superiors into and then generate a perception about yourself and then wonder why your leadership would find you incompetent and incapiable.

My advice was keep your personal issues, personal. You should adhere to it.
 
Posts: 468 | Registered: 08 November 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post

Picture of ArmyWife~N~Soldier
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quote:
Originally posted by TheBarbarian1532:
You are not too bright are you?

Yes, of course I opened the thread, at the time not realizing that you leaked your most personal buisness onto a public forum.

I simply responded it's sloppy of you to have done so. You're probably the same kind of Leader that discloses this kind of information to your subordinates. You'd probably even drag your superiors into and then generate a perception about yourself and then wonder why your leadership would find you incompetent and incapiable.

My advice was keep your personal issues, personal. You should adhere to it.


I'm just bored and want to argue. I'm not sure I care who knows...our divorce is almost final already. His entire bn knew before I did anyway, so the cat is beyond out of the bag. But in any case, no, I wouldn't tell my Soldiers this kind of stuff unless they were in a similar situation and needed guidance.
 
Posts: 758 | Location: Fort Carson, CO | Registered: 12 March 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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