Is it true that I have to be divorced for them to chapter me out on family care plan?

Ok i have 3 kids and I have 2 with my soon to be ex-husband. I am in the Army and my husband is a civilian. He just up and left me and my kids and I found out later there was another woman involved(couldve figured). Anyways, Now we are going through a divorce, he actually filed for a divorce, because he had money and i didnt have money at that time to file it first(not like it matters). Anyways my kids age are 4 year old, 3 year old, and a 2 month old. Now, I definitely cannot take care of my kids and be in the Army at the same time. I mean i cannot even afford it. So i had went to the company and spoke with my commander about the situation and he told me that it was ok, and to go see our legal guy and tell him to start my packet. Well when i went to the legal NCO he told me that he cannot start my packet until my divorce decree comes in. I mean seriously???My divorce might take longer than a month since my kids are involved. So does that mean i have to keep bringing my kids at work until i get my divorce decree?? I mean this is ridiculous. Please i need help. What is my next step? Please i dont need no negative comments. I really dont care if you think im just a piece of shit soldier, i just need the right guidance please....
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No expert on AR 600-20 Family Care Plans, but can you get a compassionate reassignment to someplace close to your family who can watch the kids until you get an honorable discharge out? Also, you need an attorney. The attorney will probably bill your about to be former husband - but who knows - Fathers have rights too. Here's one - Gary B. Port, Esq., Former JAG, Former District Attorney. Garden City, NY (516) 352-2999. He's random - on line like every other former JAG who specializes in military and dependants. There's a really good one in Las Vegas, too. You need to assure you and your kids have health benefits so the attorney can work to possibly have them transferred to your about to be former hubby's health insurance. Good luck to you and your family.
Until you are officially divorced (divorce decree signed by a judge), then according to the Army you are still married. You are "married" to a civilian, so you do not need a family care plan. This is the reasoning behind what legal told you.

I don't see why anyone would consider you a POS, if anything your soon-to-be ex is the POS. You just got caught in a bad situation. My advice, for a temp solution at least, is to see if there are any Military spouses in your Unit that will watch your kids until you find something more permanent. My wife watched one of my Soldier's daughters during PT, since her school didn't start until 0800 and they weren't allowed to drop the kids off early.

I'm sorry I can't give you a better answer, but hopefully this will help some.

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